A plate full

A lot has happen since I last posted.  Be busy getting things in line for fire prevention week.  Since I have not fire prevention officer at this time, the burden falls to me to get things done.  Sent a letter to all members asking for help and got the usual responses.  Have a program everyday next week.  3 of our 4 female members are taking time to help out, one for two days and one for 3.   Will have about 8 people help with the open house on next Saturday.  Told them we needed a commitment from at least 6 people to be there or we would cancel it.  So I guess it is a go.  Need to order refreshments and some other things but should be okay.  After the open house, my wife and I are leaving for a couple of days away.  Budget for next year has been approved without much comment.  We should be in good shape unless all you know what breaks out. Need to have an officers meeting soon.  Have an agenda put together, now need to get it finalize and out to the officers for their information  before the meeting.   Another department in the county was just hit by OSHA,  no word on any penalties but the needed to get their SOP/SOG in order.  They had more done on that than we do, so looks like I will need to get started on that as soon as possible.  Will farm some of that out to some other officers, but if past history is any indication of results,  I will end up doing  it.   Started to keep a log of my hours spent on department stuff.  Might not be a good idea, but need to know if asked how I spent my time.
Last week end was missions conference at church.  Has a couple of young ladies who were very impressive, at least in my opinion.   From what I heard and saw, those few, and I stress few, who got to know them at all seem to hold the same opinion.  Had thought we might get 25-30 people on Saturday night at my house for a informal fellowship, got 9 and that included the two young ladies and my wife and I. Most of the committee didn't make  it and neither did any of our pastor's.  I was a little discouraged but at least I got to know them very well.  Took them to lunch on Sunday and we spent nearly 3 hours talking.  This will be my last conference as chairman.  I have told the pastor that I will not be chairman next year.  Time for someone else to step up.  Have sensed that the last couple of years that our church has not been all that into missions.  Not sure why.  but I sense that the leadership has been giving it a low priority and as such interest from them has been low,  and if their leadership interest is low, the rest of the church will not be any higher.  There are a couple of people that I think still have a heart for missions, but also not sure that it is something that they feel as passionate about as I do.  I guess churches interest can change and I hope that someday it will again be a major part of our church ministry but I  really doubt if it will every happen.  I will keep a breast of what is going on, but not sure what the future holds for us.
It seems that of late I am always tired, I sleep for about 7 hours a night, and by early evening I'm ready for bed.  Today, we have a house full of grand kids and it is hectic around here.  Just getting them all to bed takes what seems to be 3-4 hours.  By the time the last one is in bed and asleep it is after midnight.  I seems that I find myself being a grouch when they are here,  but some times I think they need a little more structure in their lives.  Also, a little less adrenalin would be good.    For the most part, Grandma is good cop and me I'm the bad cop.  Have a busy week coming up.  Hope all goes well.

Running on fumes

It has been a very busy month, this month of September.  Had a trip to Ohio for the day job,made it down there and back with no problems.  Got a nice visit at the Sutphen Corp. plants and also visited the Columbus division of Fire museum.  The reason for the trip was a sales conference, and it was better then most if I do say so myself.  It could be my last one, as they are only held every other year.  Might retire before the next one, never can tell.  On the day after I got home, we had a call and while en route to the call blow the motor on my car. Will cost way more to fix then the car is worth, so for now, I am at the mercy of using the wife's wheels to get to fire calls.  Had training tonight, and it went very well.  Worked on RIT team functions, with about 2/3's of the department there.  Also had pictures, if I do say so myself, at least sometimes we look pretty professional.  Training ran a little long as we had to stop and look for an ear ring back that got lost.  No it was one of my younger male members who lost it.  Thankfully, my more seasoned female members were there to help him out.  He will not live that down for quite some time.  Talked with a friend today about somethings in regard to starting to pass the torch.  Not sure the person who wants the torch, wants everything that goes with it.  They will get a few more things on their plate next year, and who knows, they just might get it all.  There are a lot of days lately that the black hat looks awful good.  White helmets can be awful heavy at times.  Lost my file for ISO ratings and requirements.  Not sure what I did with it before I went to Ohio, but really need to find it soon.   Have still two AFG grants to finish before Friday at 5PM, so the week is still full.  Missions meeting tomorrow evening, church board on Thursday, and Fire Department dinner on Saturday.  Oh did I mention, 32 customers to see also this week, and meeting the boss for lunch tomorrow for my annual review.  Use to dread these, no so much anymore.  After 33 years, and with retirement close think I can handle this, but still need to remind myself to not put it in neutral and coast to the end. Need to get to bed,  the great drill and spirit that we had to night sure helped as at times certain parts and people can make the job very depressing.   Night all.

Short on Time & Sleep

This will be a short post.  I had figured it would be a long one, as it is 5:30AM and I have been awake since 4:30AM.  Have a busy day, and a lot to do in the next few days.  Got a bit of good news, the \hurricane on the coast has caused DHS/FEMA to extend by one week the deadline for filing AFG grant requests.  I have one already started, waiting on information to be sent to me to finish, but because of the delayed filing time, I think I will work on a second grant.  Nothing ventured nothing gained.  Will be gone much of next week for a sales conference for the day job.  Get to go to Ohio.  Use to look forward to these, now not so much.  Will have to go like crazy to get ahead, and then the week after go like crazy to catch-up.  Have to take two online tests before I go, and have to read a book as well.   The book is okay, better than most I have read on customer relations, but still think the guy could have said it in about half the pages he took.  I  guess people might bulk at paying $22 dollars for a book of only 100 pages.  Had a new grandson since I last posted.  Everything went well, have two more grand babies due before spring.  That will bring me to 15, and I think I might be done.  Realized that this one may never really know me,  as I think back, I lived in the same house (duplex) with my grandparents.  I tried to remember as much as I could about my grandfather, who was in his 50's and 60's during my growing up years.  He died when I was 16 years old.   I tried to recall events, family gathering, etc.  I think my total recall if written would be hard pressed to fill two pages.  Maybe because my memory is getting old, but I really think that any grandchildren I have, except for maybe two or three will not have very many memories of me, and those under 10 now will have very little tangible memories of me, and will not remember much of our time together.   Decided much of what is on my mind now, and has been for the last few weeks really needs to go in the hidden file.   That is a file in my office that when things are really starting to press and I need a place to vent, I will write out what I feel, what my thoughts are  and be really honest.  BUT, I also know that what I might say, write etc, could cause a lasting hurt.  Usually, that is in fact what brings the letter into being.   Things I would say are of a very personal nature, and most likely should be just as well not said.  BUT, I find it somewhat stress relieving to put on paper what I feel, think, and perceive.  What I usually do is write the letter, usually to the person or persons, telling them just what I think, feel, etc.  Than put it in a miss labeled file in my office.  ( Most likely when I am dead, someone will clean out the draw, and probably just throw the file away as it is such a file that it appears to be unrelated information of a general nature.  Nothing important.  Have several letters in there, many have gone in and many have later been thrown away after the passion of the moment or the event has gone past.  In these cases, if I had said what I thought, felt etc. it would have just made things worse, and probably damaged relationships.  SO, I vent where no one will get hurt.   Usually helps.  Today,  the file will increase by one.   Time to get ready for work.  Have long full day ahead.

Stormy Weather

For the past few weeks, well maybe months have had a lot pressure on me from several fronts.  That in self is not special, but the compound effect is starting to have an effect on me physically.  My sleep pattern is now one of about 6 hours, then suddenly wide awake and the brain going 90mph.  Then later in the day, I run out of gas, most days could use a nap.  Many days I find myself stopping the truck and sleeping along side the road or in a rest area for 20-30 minutes. That will usually get me through the rest of the day, but then I found myself complete spent by 6PM and ready for bed, but if I go then, I will be awake by 1 or 2 in the morning.  So I try and stay up till 10 so that I can at least sleep till 6.  This morning it was 5AM when I awoke, did a couple of small things on the computer for work, will make this post and start the day.  Have to make several calls this morning, not sure how one will go as the needed information has still not come to me, guess I will call the guy from FEMA and see what he says.  Have several customers to see up north today and will take my wife with me, as this will be the only day we will have to spend together this week.  Have training three nights this week, and my training officer is out of town, so that leaves me to do the job. Hopefully I can get my deputy chief involved but not sure I am the best person to train him on the equipment.  Lately, he has been avoiding some of the more potentially stress things and I wonder if he has some fear about doing them now since he had a heart attack a couple of years ago.   He is not doing much to endear himself with some of the other members either, as it seems that when it comes to pack cleaning and hose repacking, he seems to find something else to do.  Sometimes I think he thinks that doing that is not part of what his job is now that he is the deputy chief.  You know, Chiefs don't do that stuff.   Well guess what, in some departments they may not, but in our little paid on call department, NO ONE is exempt from dirty work.  On calls we all get the same pay. Sent letters to three potential new members inviting them to join the department.  Only one responded.  The other two didn't answer the letter or my phone calls.   I guess I didn't need them as I already have several who level of interest is just barely above no interest at all.  We will be doing drivers training this week end and have several firefighters who have still not signed up for the competency course.  I think if they don't get that done this week, I will notify them that they  are not to drive a department vehicle until they have completed the course.  It takes about 6 hours of work to set the course up and assemble all of the equipment to do it.  Than the instructors have to take two full days of their time to be there. That is a major expense that we incur, to just have several people blow off,  I think not.  For many departments, this is something that either they do yearly, or not at all.  We do the course every other year, and cover the classroom the other year. I think with the several people that I have who are always not getting things done, and who seem to never find the station for a call, I might just tell them maybe they need a different way to serve their community.  I spent far too much time dealing with too few people that make this job trying.  As for the day job, have a lot to do with that right now.  Need to take a test I haven't even studied for, and that needs to be done by the end of the month.  We do it on line so I can do it anytime I want, just don't want to.  Also need to read a book about customer service.  I was someone would right a book about how to be a good customer.  It seems that while only a few of mine fit this group, it is a very loud, demanding, and also not very well managed group.  They for the most part are as a group, very self centered, greedy, arrogant, and at times push the envelope of what is ethical and legal.  People are a tool to be used, and unless you are on their level, your needs and wants, and life in general have not matter to them, and as such, should not effect them, so deal with it.   I really like these people,  NOT.
On the family side, daughter-in-law just lost her brother to a accident, her whole family took it real hard.  He was like an older brother to several of my grandchildren, so it had a wide impact on the whole family.  Youngest daughter is due any day to have her baby.  This will be the first of three in the next 5 months.   All three will be C-sections, as all three have problems.   She is not telling us what it will be, as she and her husband have not even learned it.  My granddaughter and I were coming home one day from a friends house and we made up names for the baby.  She wanted old fashion names, so we settled on for a girl. Pocahontas Sacajawea, and for the boy  CrazyHorse SittingBull.   Not much older than that.   Two grandsons start the high school football journey this week, well one will, the other has to set for 4 weeks because he has a commitment to his 4H project that his mother will not let him out of.   I agree with the mother, my problem is with the coach, to set him one week, okay, but half the season for being obedient to a parent.  That is a little extreme.  I need to check this out before I go off the deep end, but it sounds like a bunch of adults suppose to Be's are acting very child like.  I think the schools, and the fair people need to be locked in a room, and told to solve this problem or you will die there.  I think each group is in a power struggle because what they are doing is soooo important in their eyes.   Particularly, football.  I have seen to many coaches who think they are GOD, and we all should fall down and worship the might football.  I seriously question if any coach really cares all that much with character building, and development of their students.   It is about me, my record, my goals, my my my.   Having had 6 children who played 9 different sports and all earned letters, I only came across two (2) coaches that I really think care more about the kids, than they did about how the team did or how they looked or what there record was.   I know of several that were definitely the other way.  Looking back, off all the sports they were in, two standout.  One for good ( High School Wrestling) and one that had a very negative effect (High School Football).  That doesn't even take into count the cost of one in terms of injures and the financial cost that our family had to pay because of them.

With a lot on my plate in the next few weeks, and I didn't mention an up coming missions conference that I am in no way prepared for, and my committee has not given me any feed back from earlier communications, I keep thinking that I should just take my wife and run away.  Not tell anyone, just leave and let the whole mess just collapse into a heap.  Well I am ready to start work, unfortunately, most people are not ready to start at 6:20AM.   They don't start until 9-10.  Well maybe it is not too early to call a few, after all they will be awake after the answer the phone.

Maybe time to pack it in

Have had a very frustrating couple of weeks,  had a garage and house fire that we only turned one more than half the department for.  Not sure where the rest of the people were, but we were really short handed for a while.  Than we had a couple of minor calls, again almost no one showed.  The top of the cake so to speak was an activated fire alarm on the lake shore that show only four guys answer.  I drove the tanker alone.  Got just the mini and the tanker out on the call.  Our lack of response to these a long with a four person response on a major accident on the freeway has got me thinking along several lines.  One, we may need to have mutual aid respond to all our calls until we get more available people.  This would be a major change and one I am not sure would be well received by almost no one.  My first responsibility is to the residents, and if that is the only way to insure an adequate response, then that is what we need to do, regardless of the embarrassment it causes us as a department.  I have asked repeatedly for ideas to improve this from my officers and so far have gotten the same number as I have lifetime home runs,  Zero.  At this point it is not feasible to have a paid crew on during the day because of lack of call volume and cost.  Today we had a call and I was about half way between the call and the station.  Went back to the station, and responded with a truck and two other firefighters.  If it had been last week Wednesday, 2/3 of that crew would have not be available.  If it had been ten minutes later today, I would have been first on scene, but we would have had not truck for a while.  Don't know what to do about it.  It is causing a loss of sleep, I am short tempered with people, and have to bite my lip to keep from cutting loose on a few of them.   I came home this evening after having dinner with some high school friends, and made a mental list of what I wouldn't have to do if I quit the fire department.   It would free up three nights a month, no more planning things around meetings.  No more county officer's meeting, which by in large are a waste of time, so much talk so little action.  I would have two nights a week free because I wouldn't be teaching in the academy this fall and winter.  It would give me about three hours on Saturday and a couple of Sunday afternoon to do other things rather than sit and fill out grant applications, insurance review papers, budget planning and where to move money to funds that are over budget, and all sorts of other things that no one ever told me about.   I have reached the point that some of these things are just going to no get done, or on second thought I will hand them to my deputy chief and let him do them, than again if he handles them like he has handled the SOP for vehicle extraction and the station cleaning  assignment, they will never get done.   Right now, I think I should go to bed as my level of burn is slowly raising   Night all.

Can't turn off my mind.

It is 5:30 in the morning, and I am in Marquette, on my way to Houghton County today. My bride is trying to sleep, and I woke up at 4:30AM from a sound sleep with the realization that I have effectively planned 3 things to do, all on the same day next month, three things that cannot be done together.  So, I have spent the last hour lying in bed trying to think of a way to still do all three, and not make major changes to other people's schedules.  Oh well, such is life.   We had training this week, and, would score it as about average.  I have a sense that the equipment checks are becoming, while profitable, also some what shallow.  According to everyone I asked, all equipment was started, and the missing items were noted.  I that area, I think next time, I think we will be missing something of importance, just to see if they catch it.  I do know that a certain few firefighters are putting the effort forth, as one came to me with a list of missing stuff and also a couple items that were not on the sheet, that were on the truck.  We have 8 gas saw, 5 generators, 2 fans, 2 pumps, and a power unit that are to be started and checked each month.  You would think that with that many motors to start the station would be blue with exhaust haze,  well other than the stuff my group started, I only can say for certain that two other items were started.  I sure didn't hear that many motors running.  Yet everyone said they started their equipment.  Also, each group has 6 firefighters in it, well this month my group had 2, for both meetings.  We had 2 show up late for one and not do anything, and 1 show up late for the other and help a little.  Kind of hard, to lay 200' of 3" hose, and operate a hand line by yourself, while the other person makes all the hydrant hook-ups.  But we got it done.  Speaking of training,  this has always been a sore spot with me, as I think we do not train hard enough or long enough.  Have tried various way to change that and have met apathy, quiet resistance, vocal resistance, and in a few cases, open rebellion almost.  Have come to the conclusion, thanks to a fellow EMS director of all people, that this is their (the firefighters problem) not mine.  We have documented evidence that they were all trained to FF2 level, with a couple of exceptions, and those are to FF1 level.  The main reason we have monthly training is to help them maintain their skill levels at an acceptable level, and to pass on new information now available that was not available at the time they tested and passed.  It is also to keep them current on our particular way of doing things.  To help them learn our SOP's and equipment.  It is not to train them in the basic firefighting procedures.  My EMS friend, told me that for his people to keep their job, they need to keep their license.  To do that they need so many CEU's in a given period of time, and in a particular number of fields.  His department offers the needed training to accomplish this, but if they choose to not attend, that's fine, just keep your certifications or goodbye.  I have not just exactly figured out how I will get this point across to the firefighters, but my training office and I are pretty much on the same page.  Our thought is to establish a set of standard benchmarks, and say here they are, you keep your training up to these levels or goodbye.  We as a department will provide training to help you meet these, but if you don't it is your fault not ours.  I think this puts the burden on them to maintain their skill level, not on me.  I think I have for too long felt their failure to preform as expected was my fault, not theirs.  No more.  I can in good conscience say we have provided the training, if you fail, it is your fault.  And if you continue to fail, you will no longer be with us.  Now to figure out a nice way to transfer this to them.  

It has been very hot this week, I think everyone at training wanted to have a water fight, but they got their chance last month.  Judging by the performances on Monday night with ladder for rescue placement training, most have lost more than a step on the their skill level.  The old man and a 3 year firefighter placed an extension ladder and packed up one firefighter and got that firefighter to the top of the ladder before most had gotten their ladder off the rig.   I know it was hot and humid, but we still have fires in that kind of weather.  We have the training trailer coming next month, and I'm working on ways to use it and improve there skill level, but also know that the few faithful will show, some will come once, and most likely some will not come at all.  Did have a interesting thing happen at the Monday drill.  We informed them that they needed to plan on coming in for drivers training competency course for one hour the last weekend of August.  They will be paid for it, but it is required.  Had one firefighter complain loudly in public that this was a bunch of crap and didn't see why they needed to do it.  They took their pager off and slide it across the counter we were sitting at towards me.  I grabbed it and put it on my belt.  They made some comment that they were resigning, and I asked for it in writing and to put it in my mailbox at the station.    About 20 minutes later, as we were about to leave,  this person asked if I was going to give them back their pager,  I said " you want it back?"  I took it off my belt, and held it in my hand,  looked at them and waited for them to respond.  They looked around,  than walked over to me and took it back.  They then left without saying another word.  I just got to love people.

Leadership

The past few days or maybe the last couple of weeks have found me doing some stuff that leaders supposedly don't do.  Yet I find that the really good leaders both in the fire service and outside it are in fact the ones who do these things.  I just go back from the funeral home for a visitation for the mother of one of our firefighters.  Her daughter has been a member of our department for almost three years, and if I do say so myself, our hiring her was won of the smarter things we have done.  Anyway, I would not have know her if she had not joined our department, but because I do now know her, and since I represent the department in so many ways, I felt that both as a friend and also as the chief I needed to take the time and go. Know that at least two other members of the department will stop by, but no sure of the rest.  I think that this is a part of leadership that isn't seen by most people when they think of leaders.  This morning in church, the pastor talked about leadership, in regards to the church.  I looked over his outline last night and we had talked in board meeting about it in regards to a direction that some of us feel the church should talk. So it did not come as any sort of a surprise to me.  But he shared that leaders have a responsibility to do what is best for those who follow.  In the fire service so often I have seen people who strive for leadership, with the sole intent to do things the way THEY want, and not necessarily what is best for the department as a whole.  I had this discussion some time back with a couple of my officers in regard to radio talk groups.  While they wanted one thing, and what they wanted was a good thing, I know that for the most part, it would be beyond the grasp of the many body of firefighters.  I would have  loved to do what they wanted, but reason told me to do what was best for the department as a whole, not what I would have like to see.  Leadership is also I think a position of servant hood.  For some time now, our station has needed a good cleaning.  I have asked my deputy to come up with some kind of a cleaning schedule that involves everyone.  I think I asked him about 18 months ago, and still nothing.  I just let it go, figuring he would get it done, but this weekend finally realized that to him it wasn't a problem.  He had no plans to take care of it, and I think he was hoping, in fact he almost said as much that we needed a fire call, so that Carol, one of our more faithful, caring, and not one to have idol hands, got to the station, and went on standby, so that she would clean the place.  Anyway that hasn't happened, so this weekend, I hired out of my own money, and for other reasons as well, a young lady from our church, who needed the money, and also needed someone to show they cared to clean the station.  She worked two hours on Saturday, never took a break, and got done what I thought would take three hours in two. Already had a couple comments later that day that the station looked a lot better and cleaner.  It was worth the money, in more ways than one.  But still need to remind the deputy that a schedule is needed.  Though I have thought of hiring her for a once a month visit to keep the place looking good.  I think too often some chiefs think it is all about them, when I really should be all about everyone else but you.  I think part of this stems from the fact that we as leaders need to see the biggest possible picture and to see how all of the parts come together.  In the department, and to some degree at church I see that and have that responsibility, in my everyday job, no so much.  But that said, I do try and follow and trust the leadership that is over me.  To me, the key word is trust.   Later this week I have a fire district board meeting and will have the hearing for our suspended firefighter.  Not sure how that will go, but need to get the packets of information to the board members tomorrow so they will have it to look over.  Not looking forward to that at all.  Think I will take my wife out for a flurry tonight.  Besides, I feel the need of a chocolate malt.

Hectic weekend

There are times that things just don't go as planned,  this is one of those weeks, first the paying job has been a challenge, had to work out of town most of the week, so things didn't get done like normal.  I am waiting for product that is needed by customers, some of it needed real soon, but nothing delivered as of Friday.  Hope for certain it comes Monday, or will have a number of unhappy people to deal with. Very important unhappy people. Have my son and grandson here this weekend, found out they were coming at the first of the week, and we had already agreed to have two of my younger grandchildren for the weekend as their parents and older sisters were at a weekend softball tournament.  To top that off, my wife has been not feeling good for a few days and is really tired, so the  added people has helped that situation at all.  We also have a special service at church this week that we have been planning for a number of weeks that involves both of us, but now with one grandchild acting sickly, looks like my wife may miss the whole thing if he gets sick.  Great!!.  She still has a dessert to make for a dinner on Sunday that we are invited to, I think she has to make something for about 60 people, and it looks like all the world that we won't get to it because of all the things going on.  She and I guess really, we didn't needed all of this on this weekend especially, but you feel guilty in telling your children no you can't come, or that it will not be best this weekend.  So you tuff it out and change your plans to accommodate them.  I still have several things to finish for this weekend, but should be able to do it this afternoon,  hope that my wife can at least see the DVD of the special before hand, as my guess is that she won't get to see it tomorrow.  Right now, I think I should stop this post and go mow the lawn or something as I keep getting more angry the more I think about this.   Maybe should change the title to Hell weekend.  Nah,keep it what it is.   When your children at little and at home, your life tends to revolve around them, but I never realized how when they get older and you see them less, that when they choose to involve you, you change your plans for them.   Not sure if we do that because we want to, or from a sense of guilt that maybe you didn't do enough when they were home, so you feel you owe them to makeup for it now.   I find that the thing that will set me off more than anything is when I feel or sense that my wife is suffering or hurting from something or someone.   I think right now, she feels that to be a good grandma, she needs to do what is asked, even if she isn't up to it.  She will tell me no I can't do that, or that it will not work for her right now, and I have learned to sense her physical and mental state before asking her to do something.  But for some people who do not see or talk with her that often, they don't know or sense that, and she is not someone who will tell them no I can't do that.  I have found that it is best if I say no you can't and take the heat for the decision.  So, I think I dropped the ball on this one this time.  Feel like calling it in and saying, they ALL need to go home.  I think one of the things is the fact that our granddaughter has been living with us, and after 7 years of empty nest, having a teenager again his been harder than either of us expected.  Since to my knowledge, only one of my children even know about this blog, and that one lives 12 hours away and has no kids yet, know that they will not see this and won't feel guilty or mad at me for saying it.  Anyway,  FD is going, and that is about all I can say.  My training officer has told me that is interest is waning, think that might be a sign that he wants out of the job.  Time will tell.  They started on the station this week, hopefully will finish by Monday or Tuesday.  The place will then need a good work bee cleaning.  My guess is that the same 4-6 will show up.  Had a fire call the other night, turned out to be a light ballast, but what bothers me more is that only 6 of our firefighters bothered to get out of bed.  Mutual aid rolled three trucks and 9 firefighters.  Our department, one truck, that's it.  At times, I think now after 41 plus years, it maybe time to step back and punt.    Well the lawn awaits,  I hate mowing the lawn almost as much as I hate anything. 

Busy two weeks

Well it has been awhile since I posted and a lot has happened.  Attended the services for my friend, and rejoiced with his family on his home going.  His life was best summed up as one that brought honor and glory to God, one that valued and enjoyed his many friendships, and one that expressed great love for his family.  Mark, I will miss you greatly.  My firefighter has chosen to appeal the action taken in regard to his actions, so we are in a holding pattern until the fire command board meets.  I have a number of things that I need do before the meeting to have all of our ducks in a row so to speak.  We have training this week Monday, and are going to the new housing development to check it out.  I already know that we have an access problem in that what was suppose to be the emergency access, is now a walkway that takes a very hard 90 degree turn and runs right into a fire hydrant.  There is no way you will ever get a truck up that access in an emergency.   There is one way in and that will most likely be blocked with equipment and people trying to get out of the complex if there is ever a fire in it.  By the time our mutual aid aerial will arrive, it will have almost no access to the complex, and certainly have very limited usefulness to us.  I sent them a letter before construction started, and no one listened.  Now I will send a letter, telling them what will happen if they have a fire, and how our ability to cope has been severely restricted.    Had training and truck check last week, a third our my group was missing, so I had the three newest firefighters we have.  Had a good drivers training session, checked all the equipment, did some PR, and got cookies and ice cream.   I really like working with small groups of firefighters more so than larger ones.  Single company size.   The new format is working, though I think some groups are not taking full advantage of the opportunities.  Approached the fire board about giving the old 1980 truck away.  That isn't flying to good, they seem to want to sell it.  I think more because of what they think people will say if they give it away.  Not sure where this will go, but I think if the department that wants it, could pay even a little bit for it, they could get it.  Today was father's day.  My ex-daughter in law and her husband took my wife and I out for dinner on Saturday along with my two oldest grandsons.  Had a nice time,  her husband has adopted my grandson, and has been a great dad to him.  He is also on the fire department with me, and I hope some day becomes one of my officers.  He is very insightful and also very good at looking at a situation and seeing the problems and the solutions.  Got phone calls from 4 of the other 5 today, and the youngest daughter wished my happy fathers day at church this morning.  Wife took me out for dinner and ice cream tonight, so even though I only saw one kid, and that was for all of 30 seconds, did here from them.  Had a nice visit with two of my granddaughters and one grandson also today. On Tuesday of last week had a meeting with the EPA, as they have started to do something about the metal finishing shop that closed  up just down the street from our station, than a meeting in Grand Haven with the board for the WMRFTC. This is the board that guides and oversees the regional fire training center and its programs.  Then headed for GR, and stopped to pickup some parts for the department, and than on to the uniform company to order some.  As I was leaving there, GRFD went by on their way to a multiple alarm church fire.  Had a chance to watch them in action, and learned a few things from them, and also saw they have some of the same challenges that we have.  Learn one thing,  if and when we get an aerial, it will need to be at least 95'.  The 75' that was on the scene of that fire would have been of little value on that size of a building.  Soo, I'm back looking at used Sutphens.   Dinner that evening was with some old high school classmates, the group is getting slowly bigger, not sure I will make it every month, but a few times a year will be good. Busy week, besides fire meeting, have a meeting with FEMA on Wednesday in regard to grant writing, church board meeting on Thursday and an out of town business trip for Tuesday- Thursday.  Still need the day job so to speak.  Also, need to get ready for Sunday, as that will be a very special day.  We are recognizing and honoring a couple of missionaries from our church who 25 years ago suffered a tragic accident that force them off the field.  Their youngest son is my son-in-law, and I have know them both for almost 42 years.  The wife was our baby sitter for our oldest kids, and they are special to both my wife and I.  My daughter is having a family dinner for them, the one married to their son, on Sunday.  She invited us, but I don't feel right going. It is for the families of both of them, and my only connection is that my daughter married into the family.  I feel she is inviting us out of a sense of obligation.   Don't think I go.  Thoughts are with the Munice Fire Department and the DuQuoin Fire Department,  on the lost of their firefighters.  My prayers are for the two widows and the four kids who lost a father so close to fathers day.  For both, some years father's day will fall on the date there husband and father died.  We have found no new ways to kill firefighters.

Promotion of a friend

It has been an eventful few days around here.  Some good, some not so good, and a few tragic.  I received a email this evening, that a friend of mine from my so called day job had passed away this early afternoon.  He had been fighting cancer for a number of years, and had recently taken time away to fight the disease.  I knew he was in a hard fight, and that the odds were not good, but this came very sudden.  Over the 23 years I have known him, we have roomed together more than a few times on business trips.  Our value systems were very much alike, and our conversations ranged from " help find a part for my fire truck, to cows, customers, and many  long and details talks on various spiritual subjects.  He had NO doubt as to were he would be 30 seconds after he passed away,  and took great comfort in knowing that his Saviour had complete control of the problem.  I know that my life here on earth has been greatly enriched with the time we spent together, the conversations we had, and the fun we also had a few times.  He always would refer to himself as the "bald Dutchman".  Today, he was promoted to Glory, and the pain is gone.  May God comfort his wife, daughters and friends.   Will miss you greatly my Friend  

Had the unpleasant duty of meeting with our executive board to bring a charge against one of our firefighters. The board also heard from him as to way the things had happened and why they had progressed to the point of a disciplinary hearing.   After much discussion, reasoning, and compromises, it was decided to suspend him for 6 months, and than have him serve a 6 month probationary period.  This was to be coupled with a loss of seniority in the department.  I need to now pass this on to the Fire District Board for their approval.   Doubt they will change anything, but the final decision really rests with them,  They can modify, lessen or stiffen the action of the executive board.   Not sure a suspension and demotion will help,  I think this persons mind set is what needs to be changed.  But he see no problem with himself, it is those around him that are causing the problem.  

Hopefully we have the problems that we have been having with our Hurst Tools solved.  Moved the power unit to a more accessible place and changes some plumbing to solve the problem.   Also, got a new portable power unit for the tools.  They still haven't worked on the station wall, been almost a month with nothing done, check that nothing started, let alone done.  Have a lot of loose admin ends to tie-up this week before board meeting.  That plus a funeral to attend sometime middle of the week makes the coming next few days rather busy.

Heavy duty

The last two weeks have been a bit heavy around the department,  it would be a long story, but in a nut shell, one of our firefighters has been lying to me and in a sense to the whole department for the last 6 months.  In an effort to help him out, I found out about the lie.  While in the end, no one will lose any money, but the fact he has lied for that long and continued to not come forward with the details has lead to our need to have some form of discipline.  It is not like we have a lot of people clamoring to join us, and this firefighter does a good job on the fireground, it is just his conduct in other matters, both in the department for which I have a responsibility but also in the area of his other jobs and personal life choices.  I really like this guy when he is going right, but of late, like for the last 10 months he has made bad choice after bad choice.   I had this problem a  couple of years ago, and thought then that I would have to suspend him, but he righted the ship for a while.  As I sat in church this morning, we sang a song about the love and justice of God.  Realized that while God loves us, more than anything, he is also just.  I really want this man to be successful, but he also needs discipline. God loves us, but cannot exist with sin, as such man needs a redeemer to take away the penalty of sin.   For my firefighter, I wish there was a way for him to escape the penalty, but I also think that maybe the penalty will wake him up and hopefully bring about a change in behaviour.  Time will tell.  Have not had many calls, had an unusual haz-mat this afternoon,  live ammo on the road, and cars were driving through it and causing it to go off.  Great dispatch scenario,  "Shots fired, send in the fire department."  We swept up about 100 yards of road and collected about 250-300 22 caliber rounds.  Give to the police to dispose of.  Bought my wife a flurry last night, she says that she only has one a year, will we see about that.  She also says I spoil her.   Need to get a few things done for work tomorrow.  Tuesday, I have the party for the 2nd. graders.  Will hand out 13 certificates for pizza, and 14 for ice cream cones. We will also have pizza for lunch.  13 of the 14 students actually held a home fire drill, and all 14 did the home work of making a drawing and show the fire escape plan on paper.   They passed the test so we get the party.   I really look forward to this bunch of kids and they have the greatest teacher.  Will do it again next year, well worth the 4 days of vacation that it takes to do this each year.

New Firefighters

We have been looking to add a few firefighters to our department.  Held interviews last week, and to say the least, we some what  unimpressed with the applicants.  One was a no show, one canceled the day before, and the other three each had some questions that need some more information be make a decison on them.  We had questions about driving records, general ability to do the work, and concerns about how long they might be around and be involved.  Hopefully will know more this week. Friday evening, took my bride and we went to dinner and the symphony.  Had a great night, we stayed in the hotel were we ate, and had a lazy Saturday morning to shop and get a few things done.  Later we attended the graduation of a son-in-law who had completed his Masters degree.  Enjoyed the pomp and ceremony of the event, and also the graduation speaker.  Wish I had taken notes as he had a lot of wisdom to share.  Went to dinner with the daughter, son-in-law and grandson along with his folks and family.  Had a good time and still was not a late night.  Today is mothers day, and we spent the day pretty much alone.  My wife got a couple of calls from far off children, and those close saw her yesterday to wish her a happy mothers day, but still think she would have loved to have had them all home today.  Just realized that it was five years ago the first of this April  that we as a family were all together.  We have Christmas planned for the first Saturday in December, and hopefully everyone can make it.   Thought today what with one new grandchild on the way and who knows maybe more, that I get tee shirts of different colors for each family and hand them out at Christmas, that way we could know who's was who's.   Recieved news late last night that a friend of ours in Ghana had lost his wife in a car accident.  Not to many details yet.  He and her lost a  baby about a year and a half ago, and she had a real hard time of it.  But recently, had heard that she was doing better and that things were looking up for them.  They have an older daughter who is about 6 or 7 years old.  Will be very hard for him in the coming days.  Hope to hear more in the next day or two, if no email, than we will call to see how he is doing and if there is anything we can do to help.  Saturday before the graduation ceremony, I stopped at GRFD to checkout their open house.  Got a few good ideas for ours, and also for some ideas for the agility phase of our  firefighter training.   Have a busy week at work, and throw in a couple of meeting and we have the makings of very busy and full week. 

What a week!

It all started last Friday evening, I was at my granddaughters softball game, the wind was unbelievable, anyway we got a call for an assist to the south neighboring department for a structure fire with flames showing.  It took me a while to get there, but did and I got to play this time.  My deputy was handling our department so I just grabbed an air pack, a 6' hook and headed in with the rest of the crew to pull ceiling and overhaul.  Not a lot of work to do, but felt good doing something other than talking on a radio. On Sunday, right after I left the platform in church, we got a call for a structure fire in our district.  Was a minor fire only because of the time of the day.  Had it been at night, would have been a lot worse.  My deputy was first on the scene so left him in command and helped with interior operations.  Monday night we had training and that went real well, we are making progress, slow but sure on getting our members familiar with where equipment is and it operation.  Tuesday, the madness started.  I had to talk a granddaughter to a doctor appointment, and just as we were to leave we get a call for a possible structure fire at the local vet clinic.  Quickly dropped her off, and responded.  We had 7 make the call, and after some searching found the problem.  Shorted wire.  Cleared and went to work.  Middle of the afternoon, weather turned bad with snow and sleet.  I was at the station when we got a call for a roll over on the expressway.  Responded with 7 firefighters again and cut a man out of his pickup.  He had some neck injuries and now has a convertible pickup.  Later that night, we caught a fully involved structure fire.  My deputy was first officer on scene and when I got there left him in command and took water supply. Some 5 hours later we cleared and had everything cleaned up.  Finally crawled in bed at 2:45AM.  Got up at the usually time and got a little work done, then called it a day.  Went to supper for the first time with some former classmates from high school.  They get together once a month, but due to distance this is the first time I have made it.  It was fun, most of us have changed alot.  On Thursday, spent good portion of the day digging out the fire from Tuesday.  Still no definite cause.  Ruled out some, but still not sure.  Will probably have to go out again with the insurance investigator.  Thursday had training again, went well.  Have decided that everyone who is not yet qualified on the rescue engine will do nothing but train on it until they are checked out. Found out our brush rig is down with fuel injector problems, translation, bring big money.  Not sure how soon it will be back. It is pretty wet here so its not critical yet, but could be in a hurry if it dries up.   Found out a friend died on Tuesday afternoon.  He was a business owner in town and had been in poor health.  Saw him last Saturday morning at coffee.  He was about a big as my dad, and reminded me a lot of him.  My regret is that not once did I mention anything to him about Jesus.  I have nothing that would lead me to believe that he was a Christian, and I think if I had said anything he would have passed it off,  but I don't know that for sure, and beside that I had a duty to do that.  I wonder if he ever saw Christ in me, I hope so but I think that I dropped the ball on this one.  Seems to me I do that a lot.  Went to the Good Friday service last night at church.  Glad we had one, as it had been a few years.   As we sang "The Old Rugged Cross", could not help but think of my dad.  It was one of his favorites.  It once again brought me to tears.  Miss him so even if it has been over 7 years.  Tomorrow is Easter, for a lot of people Christmas is their favorite holiday.  For me it is Easter.  Because of Easter and what it symbolizes, I have eternal life.  As I get older, this becomes so much more important than anything I can think of.   I watched a little TV the other day while I was waiting to have my new cell phone updated with the numbers from my old one.  I watched as mankind tried to put a worldly spin on Easter.  Rabbits that lay eggs?, spring?  That was in March, and have you seen the weather here.  No, they won't acknowledge that we celebrate the RISEN LORD.   For to do so, would require that they make a decision about Him.   My wife and I will spend Easter alone this year,  no family is coming home, I think we will go out for dinner.  Right know one of the songs that I want sung a my funeral is playing on my computer as I type this.  One of the lines is "there my burden soul found liberty"  oh how true.  I think that song "AT CALVARY"  is one of the best songs of what has happen in my life.  As the songs says, "Now I gladly own Him as my King, Now my raptured soul can only sing of Calvary"  Looking forward to tomorrow.   A friend once told me the Friday before Easter, to have a good Easter.  I told him "As a Christian, I don't think you can have a bad Easter".   He thought for a minute and replied "I think if you really believe in the resurrection, then you can't have a bad Easter."    Happy Easter

Weary

The Bible tells us to not be weary in well doing (Gal.6:9).  But right now I think that is what I am.  It has been a busy day here.  The weather has gone from slightly chilly, to cold with rain and snow and then back to rain. We started today with a fire call for a business south of town.  They had electrical problems, and it turned out to be a simple wire cut from a piece of roof flashing.  The previous sentences were written at about 8:15 PM,  it is now 1:30AM and I just sat down to a couple of cookies and a glass of milk, after a long, wet night on a fully involved house fire.  First on we have had in our district in 18 months.  Roads were a muddy mess, house was way back on the end of a narrow dirt road.   Hard to find and harder to fight.  Had a good turnout but now everyone is cold, wet and tired.  Left 2 guys on fire watch with #2 engine, they will watch it until later this early morning.  After the wire call this morning we had a Vehicle accident with pin-in on the expressway.  Had to make a convertible out of a late model Dodge pickup.  The passenger wasn't hurt to bad.  Lost it on the sudden snow covered road.  Had planned on talking about being weary, but right now after these cookies and milk, it will be a hot shower and bed.  Busy day tomorrow, may have take a day of vacation to meet the fire investigator and also get the air truck filled with air.

Tech problems

This has not been a good day by any stretch of the imagination.  It all started yesterday at 4PM when I got a text message saying my cellphone would switch today to ATT. I would have to use my new phone.  Problem: I was on the road for business and would not be home until late Tuesday.  The new phone was at home. So after about 1 1/2 hours on the phone, both cell and hotel line, it came down to "we are sorry, but there is nothing we will do about it." You are out of luck.  I asked to talk with a supervisor to lodge a compliant, and mostly got put on hold, and then dropped.  This morning, I was told to go on line to ATT.COM and I could email a compliant to management.  So I did, but you first must have an account with them, and you need a password, so I asked for a password, and they said they would send it to my cellphone, the one that was over 100 miles away.  Not to my email address, but to the phone that I didn't have.  I also had the option of getting it by U.S.Mail.  Brilliant!!  By the time I left the hotel, I was so angry with that company that I could spit nails.  Thankfully, my day with my customers went okay, only had one I couldn't connect with be cause of NO phone.  But, all was not well, the new computer has taken to locking up with the mouse pad.  Just stops working.  Soooo, you shutdown, mid project, reboot and start all over again.  This only happen three times today, or about once every third customer.  Made for a long day, now I am home and the "high speed" connection is running at about half speed. Gave up trying to download some data from the office, might try before bed and just let it run until done.  My wife thinks I should go to bed and hope for a better day tomorrow.  Tomorrow, yipes, that is the day they reprogram all of our radios at the department.  Me and electronic are not on friendly terms, and we have 16 radios to do, not a good sign.  Have been getting very frustrated with a number of pending items, none are that big, except maybe one, yet nothing is coming together that will bring them to a resolution.  Hate to be a nag, but sometimes I need to be, just so that new things don't pile up on the yet to be done stuff.   Have long internal discussions with myself on what direction we should go inregards to the next apparatus.  The more I think, the more I feel we may need to address two areas of need at the same time.  I think to do that the best way would be to purchase used trucks, as the need for these trucks, while they are needed, the use would be somewhat limited in scope. But buying a used truck that someone else spec'd, well thats not any fun, and you miss all of the fun and attention that buying new brings.  Well, having been on two committees that spec'd new trucks, it was not all that much fun, but rather very trying, frustrating, and in one case created a lot of hard feels, some that linger yet, almost four years after.  I think if I had it to do again, I would only buy used, that way you know the flaws right-up front.  That new truck that was such an ego builder, you will find any number of things wrong with it within the first month you own it, and you will be stuck with it for most likely the next 20 years.

Time to catch-up

It has been almost two weeks since I last posted anything and a lot has happened.  We made a trip to FDIC, took my wife along for the first time.  Must say that she was a trooper walking around all day looking at stuff that had interest to me, but little to her.  We got watch several firefighters do the combat challenge course, turning in times under 2 minutes.  Oh to be 25 again.  Also got her picture in the tiller seat of a TDA.  We also went up in a Supthen 100 foot platform.  Great ride, she took a picture looking down the ladder at 82degrees, but just held the camera over the edge.  She did comment that it wasn't bad at all, and was very smooth.  But hey, its a Supthen what else would it be.  She spent Saturday with her cousin who lives in Greenwood, just south of Indianapolis, and they went shopping.  She wanted to get some outfits for a couple of twin boys that our friends in Ghana just had.  Then of course after we got home, she had to buy something for their brother and sister.  I hope that the package gets there okay. Can't wait to see pictures of them.  It has been a slow couple of weeks at the department.  Things that need to be done, seem to be bogging down and taking a lot longer then I think they should.  Hope to get to interviews in the next couple of weeks.  Have missions stuff to take care of for church,   and a meeting tomorrow night with a deacon friend to talk about some things.  I am vice-chairman this year in addition to being missions chairman so have a fairly full plate.  What else is new.  Saw 2/3's of my children this weekend, as my youngest daughter had a birthday party for my bride.  Was good to see them, but sure wish the other two had been able to attend.   This week my wife went and bought our cemetery plots.  I joke about it alot, but really, I am slowly trying to get things in line for when that day comes that I need that piece of ground.  This week we got news that a young man in our church, maybe 25, has liver cancer.  They are running more tests to see how far advanced it is, but for some reason this had really hit me hard.  I know him and his folks, but would not call them really close friends, but still I think of my own children and how would I handle this if it were them.  Part of me is more than a little upset with God, but than realize we are all living lives that are but a vapor.  That this place on earth is not what it is about.  When I think of death, my number one concern is not me, but rather how my family will handle it.  How will they be effected,  how will they go on.  I see a friend whose husband was a very good friend of mine, someone I miss a lot. I see how she as had to cope with his sudden death, and I think that is one of the reasons that I want everything in place for my wife in case that happens to us.  I have spent some time in the last few days wondering just how to handle the transition in the department.  I think over the next few years, I need to put more on my deputy chief, so that slowly but surely he starts to make his imprint on the department.  My concern is that I am not sure he wants to handle the mundane stuff, the everyday operations, bills, personnel decisions and all the other stuff that comes with being at the top.  Was in the office today and it looks like they are going to hire the young lady that was my choice for the job.  When the day comes that I leave this job, I think I will feel good about having her take my customers if it works that way.  As I write this tonight, I am listening to a play list of songs I like, and just now Twila Paris is singing Days of Elijah.  One of the lines is "there is no God like Jehovah".   I need to remember that as the next few weeks play out.  Back to FDIC,  the show seemed a little down this year.  Maybe it was just that there was more room in the convention center this year with the new building.   Spring is slowing coming, that means yard work, something I hate.  Also need to get my new grill together, my wife found some T-Bone steaks in the freezer from the last steer we bought.  They will be good initiation for the grill.   Had our taxes done last week, and we are getting some money back.  The tax man looked at our figures, income and deductions and told me that our list of charitable contributions might get us audited.  According to him, it was alot higher than normal for people with our income.  Told him  that I wasn't worried, as I had all the supporting paper work.  He said, I sure hope so.  Which reminds me that I need to have my wife sign the papers so I can send them back.  They have been setting in my desk for almost a week.  Could this be Alzheimer's first little signs or do I have too many irons in the fire.   Time to do some paper work. 

Random stuff

Well it is nearing the end of March and I have only posted once so far this month.  Maybe that means things are slowing down, or I am.  Was out of town last night for work, and wouldn't you know it but we get three calls.  Nothing for 10 days when I'm around and then, I'm gone and BOOM.  From what I see on the reports, everything went well, fire call was an assist, that found us not needed.  Jaws call was also to another department, extracted two people from a car that left the road because of ice.   The a down tree this morning that they handled quickly.  Tomorrow my wife and I leave for FDIC, we also plan on visiting her cousin while we are gone.  Will be back Sunday evening.  Fire prevention hasn't been settled yet, but looks like I will need to write a very detailed job description before we do anything else.  Training has gone well so far this year, but realize there is so much to do, and so little time to do it.  Passed my fit test again this year, and that is bring with it some questions about who does and who doesn't wear an air pack.  Have asked our executive board to write they ideas of a policy so we can get something in writing before we have a bigger problem.  Have 4 applications back and one more expected soon.  We will start interviews soon, but first must clearify how we will do it, and settle on the questions we will ask.  I fear we have two many lose cannons on the committee that we will never get the real answers we need to make an intelligent decison.  Today I was part of the interview process for my company to hire a new rep.  We interviewed two young ladies, and they were as different as night and day.  Both I think could do the job, one would catch on very quickly as she already has experience with a competitor, the other would take longer to bring up to speed.  I think that one however has a bigger up side for the company in general.  On a personal note, the one young lady impressed my very much with her demeanor, and the way she presented herself.  I also sensed that I had much more in common with her then the other young lady.  Tonight after I got home, I checked facebook for both of them.  Both had limited information available, but found it interesting in checking the pictures they had posted, one had quite a few pictures, with I would quess almost 2/3 of them involved her in a party setting with plenty of alcohl present.  They other  while fewer picture, most showed a person of various interests, and none that I would label as being of a questionable nature.   Their pages kind of confirmed my thoughts that while I think both would be an asset to our company from a sales point of view, I think the one would be an asset in many more ways in dealing with our customers.  I isn't my decison, but I would rather turn my customers over to that young lady  rather than the other one.  Hope my bosses make the right decison.  If they chose the other one, I know that what ever the first one ends up doing, she will be very sucessful.  I just think in the long run and looking at the bigger picture she would be better for our company overall.  Need to finish up some stuff before tomorrow so I can leave without to much stress.  Will let you know how the conference goes next week.

It isn't getting any better

Can't believe it has been almost two weeks since I put something  down. The night after my last entry, we were 2nd in on a working house fire.  Early Sunday morning,had a long run, we were RIT, water supply and a little of everything else. Our engine at the dry hydrant couldn't get a draft, the other fill site also had problems but eventually caught a prime.  Roads were a sheet of ice, and cold.  Cleared just in time to make church as I had to make a special announcement about the upcoming missions conference.  Later the week met with my fire prevention guy along with a couple of board members and asked for and received his resignation.  Sure hope the guy gets his act together, as I sure do not need to do his job.  Had a health fair to do this week, and all I can say is we showed up and got it done.  I really believe the man has no clue to how bad the situation had become.  I doubt if anyone will take the job, so my guess is for the rest of this year its mine.  Before we give this job to someone else or back to him, we need a better job description written, and much more planned supervision and over site.  Into that you read Chief.  The mission's conference that I was working on came off great. Have had several positive comments, really enjoyed watching the passion come out in the parts that my committee had.  I said that we now have the most informed and knowledgeable committee our church has ever had.  Had our company's annual meeting this week, so that took a couple of days away from work, also had an ice storm one day so that was a day spent not making calls.  So I find myself a couple of days behind, with a busy week next week.  Fire Board is Tuesday night, and we have training on Thursday.  My training officer will be gone so that means the assistant gets to lead.  Into that you read Chief.   Still not sleeping well, like about 6 hours then awake.  This morning make a decision to go back to sleep instead of getting up, and got an extra 3 hours.  Felt a lot better until early afternoon than ran out of gas again.  Have been trying to put a handle on what has been creating the stress level, and I think a couple of items were the problems with my prevention guy, and while that is settled so to speak, just put a little more burden on yours truly.  Also, the missions conference was a lot of work and some stress, but that is over. But, I think the one thing that has really been stressing is that I think we may have a small infestation of bats in our house.  I think it maybe in a small portion of the attic we can't get to, a small dormer. We had one in the basement two weeks ago this coming Sunday.  I caught it and got rid of it, but the more I looked on line the more I think that it may be living in the house, and have found a way to the basement possibly through the walls. I do not like bats, and my wife is scared of them.  Now I feel that my house isn't safe and don't like to leave her alone, and also don't like going to the basement at night.  I really think this is part of the problem that I have been having.  Sent a email to one company about removal, but they have failed to follow up on the contact.  In checking, there are not alot of companies that do that kind of work, and do it in our area.  My arm is feeling somewhat better, but not sure about some other stuff.  All my tests from my physical came back okay, but have noticed my legs swelling a little more than usual.  Also, last night had my blood pressure taken twice, and both times it was higher than normal.  Not bad, but high than it usually is.  But then it was taken by a couple of EMT students.  So go figure.  Need to plan some stuff for training meeting and also get my ducks in a row for board meeting. 

End of the month

It got busy here on Thursday, we had a garage fire that was of a minor nature, started down in the garage and then extended to the attic.  Homeowner put out the fire in the garage with a garden hose, and was trying to put it out in the attic when we got there.  It was burning in the insulation and had burned the truss and a couple of stringers completely through.  I used the vent saw to open the hole so we could get in the remove about 5-6 garage cans full of smoldering insulation.  Used the water can to foam it down and left.  Just as we were getting on scene, the ambulance dispatched with us had already arrived on scene and told us "nothing was showing", so I canceled the mutual aid companies, and no more then did that, and one of them got hit with a fully involved structure fire about as far in the easterly direct as the first call had been to the west.  I released our 2nd. engine, tanker and squad to respond to the assist on the house fire and handled the garage fire with just our three man engine company.  That night was followed by my being awaken about 2:30AM with the worst leg cramp I have ever had.  I ended up setting up and reading until about 6AM.  Read about half of the book Ghost Mountain Boys. I have read the book twice before, but it holds special meaning to me as it is about my dad's outfit in the first year of the war.  I guess reading about what these guys went through made my leg cramp pretty trivial.  Worked part of Friday, didn't feel well in the morning so only got about six customers seen in the afternoon.  Spent part of the day reading a book call" Against all Odds" by Jay Walsh.  He is a semi-retired missionary, I think most missionaries only semi-retire, who served almost 40 years in Bangladesh.  I have been spending a lot of time, like hours and hours both reading, and on the Internet, and on the phone doing research about some of the long term missionaries our church supports.  Need to present information about them the first Sunday in March.  Have 6 of them and I get 6 minutes to do it. From what I have found, I could spend 30 minutes on each and in some cases not even do more than scratch the surface. The more I find out about them, the more amazed I am as to what God can do with what we would call ordinary people. Went to bed early Friday night, and wouldn't you know it, just before midnight we get a vehicle fire next to a building.  People had plugged in their diesel van so it would start, and the block heater shorted out and set the van on fire.  PD was first on scene, and got most of it with their fire extinguisher, and we finished up the overhaul with just a couple of cans.  I was a little worried that I might not get back to sleep, as my portable radio didn't work ( dead battery) and my car wouldn't start.  Had to move the truck and take the wife's van, so no lights or siren.  Really slow response.  Anyway, my Lt. had it handled,  we cleared and I went home and was back to sleep almost as soon as I hit the pillow.  Sleep late today.  Worked on a bit of everything today, listened to my play list that I have complied.  Need to have a meeting the first of the week with my soon to be ex prevention coordinator.  I need to remove him and hope that after I talk with him he will resign, would rather he do that then have to remove him.  Its snowing again here just hope this week the roads are clear as I have a lot of miles to go to get caught up with work.

Stress level times 2

I think it is time to retire, this week has gone south with a bullet. Between cell phone problems, computer problems, people problems, and everything else I have had it up pass my eyes.  I have a new cell phone coming but who knows when it will get here, as of now I turn the old one on for a few minutes several times a day to get messages.  That works about as well as a one armed paper hanger.  I can go several days without anything important, and then, BOOM, they want me to go three different directions all at the same time. The computer is acting up can't make entries, and as such the imformation just keeps piling up and someday I will need to spend (waste) a day just doing computer entries.  I had a system that worked well for me, but NO, we need you to use the system we bought so everyone can us it.  That is such a joke!!. It seems that with these days between work, fire department, and everything else coupled with a very sore shoulder and arm, plus a couple of sore feet, which I  don't know why they hurt, my days are becoming one big pain.  I have finally decided to relieve my Prevention person of his responsibilities if he comes up with a place to live inside the area.  One way or the other he is done as of Wednesday.  The guy is okay as a firefighter, but he can't handle his personal life, and he flits for idea to idea and never sticks to anything for very long.  Found some information that he has in fact been living not where he said he was for for longer than he said he was.  I wish he would just move away and solve that problem for me.  At training meeting Thursday, we talked about the low response numbers, and wouldn't you know it, the most talk about that and other people who should join the department came from a guy who makes less than 12% of the calls.    I drives me up the wall when he can set there and run is mouth about people, yet he lives closer than many and you will hardly every see him on a call.  Yet have a meeting where food is served and he is ready to go.  We will see this time, as he will need to report back on what was covered at the meeting this time.  He better take notes or not go.  I lay awake nights thinking about how do I get enough people on the department to insure that we have at least the bare amount of firefighters we need.   Maybe it is time for me to quit, I can't seperate this from anything I do.  I wonder sometimes if anyone cares beside me.  My deputy has procrastinate for almost a year about station maintenance, his low cost fix for the northside snow problem was wiped out in about 15 seconds when the snow came off the roof.  There went about $200 in materials and labor.  I have piles of stuff on my desk that need my attention, yet I am too old to pull all nighters.  My office is cold, I usually work with a sweater and coat on, use to use the little electic heater, but that things sucks juice like a drunken sailor drinks beer.  Bill was up by almost $30 this month and the only thing differnet was that I use it alot last month.  Sleep good for the first time in about a week last night.  Has been about 5-6 hours and then I wake up and my mind starts to go 90mph for the rest of the day.   Have missions stuff to do tonight yet, but have to go away for the evening, so it will get done either late tonight or early tomorrow morning before church.    Hope we don't get a call tonight as I will have no way easy of going on it, even though I will be half a mile from the station.  This week has been so bad, that I find myself starting to snap at my wife.  NO GOOD.  We did have a nice supper out on Valentines day, but since then it has gone down hill.  Hope next week is an improvement.  Almost to the point of telling everyone off.  Not quite, but the thought has crossed my mind. 

Stress Plus

Have had an interesting last two weeks, besides having computer problems, I think the drive is on its last legs, have not been feeling all that well.The office says that I should get a new computer, but when is anybodys guess.  Have a  back plan for most of what I do, but will need to get my files  on a flash drive so as not to lose them.  The company stuff while easy to replace is a bit more of a problem as I need the computer almost everyday for customer orders, inventory, and other need it now stuff. For my large accounts, not having it available is NOT an option I want to deal with.  Have been working on missions conference stuff a lot for the last few weeks.  Have a bunch of emails from missionaries I need to put into a useable form for our conference and hopefully a few more to come in.  Really think this conference will be one of the better ones we have had.  Also, have a couple of (retired) missionaries in our church.  They went to the field in the early 80's and then God saw fit to bring the home because of an accident.  We have decided to honor them this year, not some they really want, but something that I and the committee felt was needed by our church.  Had a long talk with them last week and explained what we wanted to do, got their blessing and offers of help. Hope todo this in late June, I think maybe fathers day. Have a banner that I placed over the freeway on the day they left for the field. Hasn't been seen by anyone but me since that day, plan on using it as a way of starting to tell their story.  
The weather here has been really wintery.  Got lots of snow on the 2nd, spent most of the day just blowing snow.  Would not have gotten far if we had a fire call during the storm.  Measured 14" on the ground Wednesday the 2nd. at noon.  Did have a call about 10am that morning, but right on the main road.  Turned out to be just a down wire, but had to drive the fire trucks almost a mile to find a place to turn around.  Have been dealing with my personal problem almost daily, looks like we will be losing one and maybe both.  In talking with my district board last night,  told them I felt we needed to remove the fire prevention guy regardless even if he meets the residence requirement.  Just too many people are talking about this and it is not good for moral of the other firefighters.  We need to spend more time on recruiting new members and do not need old ones who are creating problems the whole town is talking about.  Looks like I will be the bad guy as they have left it to me to make the choice.  The man has been less then honest with me too many times to cut him any slack.
Have been having a problem with my left shoulder and upper arm.  Pain today is quite a bit less then the last few days, but still I am mineful of how I use it. Not sure what the problem is as I can't point to any one thing that would have caused it.  Last night, felt pain in the left shoulder and arm and across my back into the right shoulder.  Not sure what the problem is but it really is effecting my work and my energy level.   Might just be old age catching up with me.
With no TV, which by the way has almost be a year, find that I read more.  Have been rereading the book Ghost Mountain Boys, and cross-checking it with a book on New Guniea by Edwin Hoyt and also Dad's book on the 32nd. division.  Couple that with Google maps and I think I have a pretty good idea of the area where my Dad was shot during the Second World War.  It is hard to imagine the terrian of New Guniea being the way it is talked about in the books when you look at the Google maps.  On them it looks almost like terrian around here.  Been interesting and somewhat soul searching as I read and ponder what they went through.   It seems like I am always trying to answer questions, after the people who knew the answers have died. I think when they were living, I was too wrapped up in me and realize what I was missing or ignoring.  Spent the day or most of it at the station,  got some things done, but not near enough.  Wish I could just spend about 6 months working on stuff.  Once it was done, things would go much smoother.  Then I could maybe just enjoy the job, or maybe retire.  Got an email today from Steve Mills, he and his wife are missionaries to TOGO,  right next door to Ghana. He is a PA and she is a nurse. Can not believe what they and the rest of their staff go thru in the course of their week.  Just reading about their week makes mine seem quite insignificant.  Also, ready a book by Jay Walsh titled Ripe Mangos,  talks about some of the people and ministries in Bangladesh. Right after I read that, we got a letter from Geo Collins, his son in law.  George works with national churches in countries that do not readily accept missionaries.  He also spent 8 years is Bangladesh.  Anyway, he wrote about the passing of a pastor's wife that he had know from his earlier days there.  The name stuck me, and I looking in the book that his father in law had written 30 years before.  The lady's story was in the book about her coming to Christ and her eventual marriage to a young pastor.  Found that interesting.  My wife has been looking at a lot of our pictures from early in our marriage.  As I look at the skinny kid she married, and the cute little girls and boys of our youth, I find my self wishing they still we little.  Wishing that the days had not gone so quick.  Wishing I had realize sooner that I was important in their lives, and not just what I could provide.  Wishing I had found more of my fulfillment in being a daddy to them rather than a person who got things done for other people.  Some how top cows, a well equipped and trained fire department and farm bureau leader seem kind of empty.   This week brings a fire meeting, with annual elections, my report is short and contains no big surprises, just care on and watch the dollars. The week after will set the course for several iitems that must be faced.  Hey that's way I get to wear the white hat, and get the BIG dollars.   Yeah   right.

Busy week

This week has been a bit strange, had a number things that came up this week, but as a whole was pretty good.  Still not sleeping great, but better.  Sunday, our youth pastor shared about their adoption of a little girl who is hiv positive.  Heard that there maybe some people who will leave our church over this, don'e know who or how many, or if it is just rumor.  but do know that if it is true, I would not want to stand in front of Jesus having taken that stand. As my kids use to say " Thats just wrong".  Jesus said that if you do it to the least of these, you do it to Me and to My father. Hope that this comes to nothing.  Sunday morning was nearly in tears, as we sang "Since Jesus came into my heart".  I remember very well a Sunday morning 41years ago ( Sept.13, 1970) that we sang that song I could not get the words to come from my mouth.  I could not sing something that had yet not happen in my life.  Today I can sing it, but it still brings back memories of that day. It will always have a special place in my life.  I made a list of the songs to sing at my funeral, it is in my Bible, there are four of them, Jesus Saves, At Calvary, Since Jesus came into my Heart, and Satisfied.  It has been almost a year since we cut out TV, have missed it a few times, spent one Saturday afternoon at the fire station just so I could watch the Army-Navy game, but other than that, have not missed it much. We get some strange looks when we tell people, like what are you some kind of a nut! But the 60+ dollars that it costs, are better used in other places. That amount will support an african pastor for half a month.  I think that will do me more good than watch "Jersey Shore".  I do check the internet for news so have a little idea of what is going on in the world.  Still have my two firefighters trying to deal with their personal problems.  It is starting to effect moral in the rest of the department.  The one has lied to me at lest a half dozen times in the past few weeks, about where he is living, what he is doing, and that there is nothing going on with the other guys wife.  Wish they both would resign.  Later this week received news that the whole department may have been exposed to scabies.  Didn't know much about it, and what with HIPA rules they can't tell who, so had to tell everyone to watch for it.  I think from what I read, its worst than head lice, but not as bad as some other parasite infestations.  No one told me about this part of the job.  Have a class to  teach tomorrow along with another firefighter, than taking the family from across the road to a dinner theater at church.  Wife knows them better then I do, but will be chance to get to know them.  Have spent a lot of time this week thinking about department personal, how can I better serve them as chief,  thought I might have lunch with each one over the course of the year, and pick their brain so to speak.  Since my daughter move out of state, have not had a regular lunch buddy so to speak.  Really miss having lunch with her.  Guess I really just miss having my kids close.  With have of them 5-12 hours away, am very greatful for the ones that I do get to see a little more often.  As I have gotten older, I think I have gotten a little soft,  maybe it is just living with a person who is VERY senisitive to people and their needs.  But, now I find my self think of them, spending time just sitting and dwelling on the times we had together,  and praying for them.  Had just one run this week, a medical assist tonight, had toput the guy in  a stokes basket and put that in the back of the sheriffs pickup truck to get him out to where the ambulance was parked.  Well, need to look over the material for class tomorrow. 

Hectic week

What a week last week was,  had a lot of heavy stuff to do, most of which I didn't look forward to.  On account of the different things, did not sleep well.  Hopefully, that will improve this week.  Had an executive board meeting with the fire department and had to make some diecsion on several firefighters  who are having personal problems, but because of those are in violation of department rules.  My quick guess is that I will lose two of them, and maybe all three.  If that happens, I will get a very big load of work dumped in my lap, work that needs to be done, but for which I don't have the time.  The sad part is that this firefighter didn't have to be part of the problem, but rather chose to be in my opinion.  As I look at it, I see a continued pattern of poor choices. The biggest one that I see is that he is less than honest about his actions.  Had training two nights this week, and that went well I think.  So my first fears about this did not materialize, but we still have along way to go.  Had a meeting with the Pastor on Saturday morning,  good meeting, but never like to talk to him about the church.  Just doesn't seem right for me to tell him what I feel,  but felt that it needed to be done.  I think I would rather do just about anything than that..  Sunday, our youth pastor shared about how God is leading them into another adoption, this time a little girl from SOuth America.  She has some phyiscal problems and he and the board felt that the church as a whole needed to know.  I guess because I deal in emergency service and have annual blood borne refreshers (as required by law) I didn't think it was that big a deal, but I guess for some people having a little girl who is HIV positive in the nursery and childerns church is something they will need to deal with.  I really honor Ryan and Stacey for doing that and look forward to the day she is in my sunday school class.  Have been thinking a lot about how we (Realy me) so often need to point out differences from ourselves in our description of people.  I still find myself saying that my sons are from another country and another racial group then myself.  Why should that matter?  They are all created in the image of God. He makes no such distinctions, and in fact admonishes us for doing it.  I have made it a conscience effort of late to not do anything like that.  They are people, pure and simple and unless someother description is needed for clairifaction, I will avoid using any term that would single them out for special attention, wither good or bad.   Hopefully, this week will go better, have a doctors appoint this week but other than that just go to work.  Need to get started on my year end report for the district, as several of our other firefighters who need to do reports have already submitted theirs. 

Start of the week,

Will it is Sunday afternoon, finished up some training drills, finally got about 25-30 that should hold for a while, tomorrow night we start something new at training, it will require that my Lt. do a little planning and fore thought before they get to the meeting.  I think it will take 6-8 months of the new schedule for us to see if it is working.  If it doesn't work, I am at a complete loss to find a way to get done what needs to be done.  Hit this spot with another department about 18 months ago, and finally left,  my usefulness had hit the wall.  They seem to be doing okay, though they went through some real rough spots.  My car is still in the shop, has a problem maintaining oil pressure when the engine gets hot.  Could be oil pump or bearings, I think neither one sounds good.  Time will tell.  Had hoped to have heard from a couple people this week, but didn't, kind of a bummer. Patience is not one of my strong points. Work this week will be a change, have to go see one of my more demanding customers.  He is always changing his mind,  that is his right, but we can't change gears as fast supply wise as he can.  Have to go to school tomorrow for fire prevention with the 2nd. grade.  This is maybe why I am still on the department, absolutely love those kids, even if last years class cost me over $400 for pizza.  They are like little sponges, and I don't have to watch what I say in regard to them.  Don't need to be politically correct.  Need to make a few calls yet this afternoon so I guess I will close this rambling.  After tomorrow night may have a whole lot more to ramble about.

Early morning call

Monday morning we were toned out for an assist to Ferry Twp. Fire on a house fire.  Hesperia was second due so we were third in.  We were short manpower big time, only had five guys and that included me. Luck for us they didn't need a lot of water, our tanker dumped once.  Deputy chief, lieutenant and one firefighter made up our contribution in manpower.  I was sort of a gopher, we already had 2 chiefs and 1 assistant on the scene by the time we got there. Spent the better part of an hour overhauling, extinguishing and looking for a possible victim.  One man was missing and we all thought he was in the building as did his family.  At a while he was found asleep in the camper on the back of the property.  There had been a family situation and his wife and kids had spent the night at family members, he had stayed home. No sure as to cause, but glad he was okay, but sure would have liked him to have come forward.  Would have saved us a lot of time.  It was -4 at the time we got the call, and everything was freezing at the scene.  Only guys who had a job that didn't get them froze were the tanker drivers.  My fingers were froze and thankfully, as I hooked up floodlights, I could put my hands and fingers by the generator exhaust and warm them up.  Keep thinking maybe time to retire.  My car, the one I use for fire calls is acting up, so tomorrow it goes to the shop.  Hopefully, we won't get any calls while it is down, because my wife's van doesn't have a light bar or siren.  So I will be one slow chief if we get a call in the next day or two.  Hopefully, it won't be anything major. Had officers meeting tonight, and while I usually look forward to these, tonight, I would have just as soon stayed home.  Heart was difinitely not in it tonight. 

Sunday afternoono

Had a great day at church, we have been doing a class on our spiritual gifts, and I thought I know what mine was, well after several different tests and such, have come to the conclusion that none of what I have is that clearly defined,  I didn't score high in anything.  To look at my chart, its almost a flat line, my personality trait is also the same, no dominate character.  My wife says that means I can a lot of different things, I said it is like the utility player on a ball team.  Can do the job until we fine someone better and more gifted.  I said I was like an insurance policy, has got you covered but you hope you never need it.  I don't know why this is bothering me so much, but it is.  With the last couple years of wondering it I had wasted my life on the wrong things, you get to wondering if there is something else you should do.  But the way I read these tests and surveys, I am not really all that good at any one thing, and so I wonder would or could my gifts be used some better way, but with no strong gift or personality it doesn't seem that there would be much use for what I can do, when there is no doubt someone who can do it better.  Spent the afternoon trying to get stuff done for the department, but heart wasn't in it.  Came up with only about a dozen short (30-40 minute) training drills, had hoped I could get at least twice that many.  Have a board meeting this week, not sure what day, Monday, Tuesday or Thursday.  Need to be ready for Monday and hope for Thursday I guess.  Have a list a page long on things that I need to follow-up on with other people, but for the most part I e-mail questions and don't get a response. Only Robin, Carol and Warren seem to get back to me with in a reasonable time,  I know that we all have other lives, and since I have no life as one person put it (no tv, don't fish, hunting, play golf or other sports, just work, FD and church) I have too much time to think and that just isn't what they are all about.  I get that, but still need to get the work that you have said you would do done in a timely manner.  Should have cleaned the officer this afternoon, but didn't.  Did try and organize my week, and that does look pretty good.  Will see how that goes. 

Follow-up

Had a talk with my firefighter B today, he is NOT living with the other guy's wife, so that is good.  He said there is nothing going on, and part of me believes him.  But if nothing is going on with the other guys wife, then my firefighter is really dumb, as just about everything he had done makes it look like there is something going on.  Told him that the next few months will let us all know wither what he told me is true, and just a big lie.  I have gotten more stories from this guy in four years then all the other firefighters put together in 20+ years.  Right now, he says he is living outside the area, and as such I should give him 30 days to move back in, but didn't do that.  Will wait to see what develops on the other front in the next 3-4 weeks time before we revisit that item.  This guy wants to be an officer, but has on so many occasions used such poor judgement that there is no way he can be an officer.  As we talked, he became very clear that he had put no thought into any of his actions.  His response was that maybe I care to much for people.  I told you don't care too much, but rather you don't think about the fall out from you actions before you do them.  I don't think that our talk had any effect on him.  I don't think I have every been as frustrated with a conversation with anyone as I was today with him.  Part of his problem is he doesn't see a problem, and part is the flawed value system that he has and that he lives by.  Because of it, even if he is right on this one, and I told him if he is exonerated, I will give him a public apology,  he is going to keep on making the same mistakes time after time.