A plate full

A lot has happen since I last posted.  Be busy getting things in line for fire prevention week.  Since I have not fire prevention officer at this time, the burden falls to me to get things done.  Sent a letter to all members asking for help and got the usual responses.  Have a program everyday next week.  3 of our 4 female members are taking time to help out, one for two days and one for 3.   Will have about 8 people help with the open house on next Saturday.  Told them we needed a commitment from at least 6 people to be there or we would cancel it.  So I guess it is a go.  Need to order refreshments and some other things but should be okay.  After the open house, my wife and I are leaving for a couple of days away.  Budget for next year has been approved without much comment.  We should be in good shape unless all you know what breaks out. Need to have an officers meeting soon.  Have an agenda put together, now need to get it finalize and out to the officers for their information  before the meeting.   Another department in the county was just hit by OSHA,  no word on any penalties but the needed to get their SOP/SOG in order.  They had more done on that than we do, so looks like I will need to get started on that as soon as possible.  Will farm some of that out to some other officers, but if past history is any indication of results,  I will end up doing  it.   Started to keep a log of my hours spent on department stuff.  Might not be a good idea, but need to know if asked how I spent my time.
Last week end was missions conference at church.  Has a couple of young ladies who were very impressive, at least in my opinion.   From what I heard and saw, those few, and I stress few, who got to know them at all seem to hold the same opinion.  Had thought we might get 25-30 people on Saturday night at my house for a informal fellowship, got 9 and that included the two young ladies and my wife and I. Most of the committee didn't make  it and neither did any of our pastor's.  I was a little discouraged but at least I got to know them very well.  Took them to lunch on Sunday and we spent nearly 3 hours talking.  This will be my last conference as chairman.  I have told the pastor that I will not be chairman next year.  Time for someone else to step up.  Have sensed that the last couple of years that our church has not been all that into missions.  Not sure why.  but I sense that the leadership has been giving it a low priority and as such interest from them has been low,  and if their leadership interest is low, the rest of the church will not be any higher.  There are a couple of people that I think still have a heart for missions, but also not sure that it is something that they feel as passionate about as I do.  I guess churches interest can change and I hope that someday it will again be a major part of our church ministry but I  really doubt if it will every happen.  I will keep a breast of what is going on, but not sure what the future holds for us.
It seems that of late I am always tired, I sleep for about 7 hours a night, and by early evening I'm ready for bed.  Today, we have a house full of grand kids and it is hectic around here.  Just getting them all to bed takes what seems to be 3-4 hours.  By the time the last one is in bed and asleep it is after midnight.  I seems that I find myself being a grouch when they are here,  but some times I think they need a little more structure in their lives.  Also, a little less adrenalin would be good.    For the most part, Grandma is good cop and me I'm the bad cop.  Have a busy week coming up.  Hope all goes well.

Running on fumes

It has been a very busy month, this month of September.  Had a trip to Ohio for the day job,made it down there and back with no problems.  Got a nice visit at the Sutphen Corp. plants and also visited the Columbus division of Fire museum.  The reason for the trip was a sales conference, and it was better then most if I do say so myself.  It could be my last one, as they are only held every other year.  Might retire before the next one, never can tell.  On the day after I got home, we had a call and while en route to the call blow the motor on my car. Will cost way more to fix then the car is worth, so for now, I am at the mercy of using the wife's wheels to get to fire calls.  Had training tonight, and it went very well.  Worked on RIT team functions, with about 2/3's of the department there.  Also had pictures, if I do say so myself, at least sometimes we look pretty professional.  Training ran a little long as we had to stop and look for an ear ring back that got lost.  No it was one of my younger male members who lost it.  Thankfully, my more seasoned female members were there to help him out.  He will not live that down for quite some time.  Talked with a friend today about somethings in regard to starting to pass the torch.  Not sure the person who wants the torch, wants everything that goes with it.  They will get a few more things on their plate next year, and who knows, they just might get it all.  There are a lot of days lately that the black hat looks awful good.  White helmets can be awful heavy at times.  Lost my file for ISO ratings and requirements.  Not sure what I did with it before I went to Ohio, but really need to find it soon.   Have still two AFG grants to finish before Friday at 5PM, so the week is still full.  Missions meeting tomorrow evening, church board on Thursday, and Fire Department dinner on Saturday.  Oh did I mention, 32 customers to see also this week, and meeting the boss for lunch tomorrow for my annual review.  Use to dread these, no so much anymore.  After 33 years, and with retirement close think I can handle this, but still need to remind myself to not put it in neutral and coast to the end. Need to get to bed,  the great drill and spirit that we had to night sure helped as at times certain parts and people can make the job very depressing.   Night all.

Short on Time & Sleep

This will be a short post.  I had figured it would be a long one, as it is 5:30AM and I have been awake since 4:30AM.  Have a busy day, and a lot to do in the next few days.  Got a bit of good news, the \hurricane on the coast has caused DHS/FEMA to extend by one week the deadline for filing AFG grant requests.  I have one already started, waiting on information to be sent to me to finish, but because of the delayed filing time, I think I will work on a second grant.  Nothing ventured nothing gained.  Will be gone much of next week for a sales conference for the day job.  Get to go to Ohio.  Use to look forward to these, now not so much.  Will have to go like crazy to get ahead, and then the week after go like crazy to catch-up.  Have to take two online tests before I go, and have to read a book as well.   The book is okay, better than most I have read on customer relations, but still think the guy could have said it in about half the pages he took.  I  guess people might bulk at paying $22 dollars for a book of only 100 pages.  Had a new grandson since I last posted.  Everything went well, have two more grand babies due before spring.  That will bring me to 15, and I think I might be done.  Realized that this one may never really know me,  as I think back, I lived in the same house (duplex) with my grandparents.  I tried to remember as much as I could about my grandfather, who was in his 50's and 60's during my growing up years.  He died when I was 16 years old.   I tried to recall events, family gathering, etc.  I think my total recall if written would be hard pressed to fill two pages.  Maybe because my memory is getting old, but I really think that any grandchildren I have, except for maybe two or three will not have very many memories of me, and those under 10 now will have very little tangible memories of me, and will not remember much of our time together.   Decided much of what is on my mind now, and has been for the last few weeks really needs to go in the hidden file.   That is a file in my office that when things are really starting to press and I need a place to vent, I will write out what I feel, what my thoughts are  and be really honest.  BUT, I also know that what I might say, write etc, could cause a lasting hurt.  Usually, that is in fact what brings the letter into being.   Things I would say are of a very personal nature, and most likely should be just as well not said.  BUT, I find it somewhat stress relieving to put on paper what I feel, think, and perceive.  What I usually do is write the letter, usually to the person or persons, telling them just what I think, feel, etc.  Than put it in a miss labeled file in my office.  ( Most likely when I am dead, someone will clean out the draw, and probably just throw the file away as it is such a file that it appears to be unrelated information of a general nature.  Nothing important.  Have several letters in there, many have gone in and many have later been thrown away after the passion of the moment or the event has gone past.  In these cases, if I had said what I thought, felt etc. it would have just made things worse, and probably damaged relationships.  SO, I vent where no one will get hurt.   Usually helps.  Today,  the file will increase by one.   Time to get ready for work.  Have long full day ahead.

Stormy Weather

For the past few weeks, well maybe months have had a lot pressure on me from several fronts.  That in self is not special, but the compound effect is starting to have an effect on me physically.  My sleep pattern is now one of about 6 hours, then suddenly wide awake and the brain going 90mph.  Then later in the day, I run out of gas, most days could use a nap.  Many days I find myself stopping the truck and sleeping along side the road or in a rest area for 20-30 minutes. That will usually get me through the rest of the day, but then I found myself complete spent by 6PM and ready for bed, but if I go then, I will be awake by 1 or 2 in the morning.  So I try and stay up till 10 so that I can at least sleep till 6.  This morning it was 5AM when I awoke, did a couple of small things on the computer for work, will make this post and start the day.  Have to make several calls this morning, not sure how one will go as the needed information has still not come to me, guess I will call the guy from FEMA and see what he says.  Have several customers to see up north today and will take my wife with me, as this will be the only day we will have to spend together this week.  Have training three nights this week, and my training officer is out of town, so that leaves me to do the job. Hopefully I can get my deputy chief involved but not sure I am the best person to train him on the equipment.  Lately, he has been avoiding some of the more potentially stress things and I wonder if he has some fear about doing them now since he had a heart attack a couple of years ago.   He is not doing much to endear himself with some of the other members either, as it seems that when it comes to pack cleaning and hose repacking, he seems to find something else to do.  Sometimes I think he thinks that doing that is not part of what his job is now that he is the deputy chief.  You know, Chiefs don't do that stuff.   Well guess what, in some departments they may not, but in our little paid on call department, NO ONE is exempt from dirty work.  On calls we all get the same pay. Sent letters to three potential new members inviting them to join the department.  Only one responded.  The other two didn't answer the letter or my phone calls.   I guess I didn't need them as I already have several who level of interest is just barely above no interest at all.  We will be doing drivers training this week end and have several firefighters who have still not signed up for the competency course.  I think if they don't get that done this week, I will notify them that they  are not to drive a department vehicle until they have completed the course.  It takes about 6 hours of work to set the course up and assemble all of the equipment to do it.  Than the instructors have to take two full days of their time to be there. That is a major expense that we incur, to just have several people blow off,  I think not.  For many departments, this is something that either they do yearly, or not at all.  We do the course every other year, and cover the classroom the other year. I think with the several people that I have who are always not getting things done, and who seem to never find the station for a call, I might just tell them maybe they need a different way to serve their community.  I spent far too much time dealing with too few people that make this job trying.  As for the day job, have a lot to do with that right now.  Need to take a test I haven't even studied for, and that needs to be done by the end of the month.  We do it on line so I can do it anytime I want, just don't want to.  Also need to read a book about customer service.  I was someone would right a book about how to be a good customer.  It seems that while only a few of mine fit this group, it is a very loud, demanding, and also not very well managed group.  They for the most part are as a group, very self centered, greedy, arrogant, and at times push the envelope of what is ethical and legal.  People are a tool to be used, and unless you are on their level, your needs and wants, and life in general have not matter to them, and as such, should not effect them, so deal with it.   I really like these people,  NOT.
On the family side, daughter-in-law just lost her brother to a accident, her whole family took it real hard.  He was like an older brother to several of my grandchildren, so it had a wide impact on the whole family.  Youngest daughter is due any day to have her baby.  This will be the first of three in the next 5 months.   All three will be C-sections, as all three have problems.   She is not telling us what it will be, as she and her husband have not even learned it.  My granddaughter and I were coming home one day from a friends house and we made up names for the baby.  She wanted old fashion names, so we settled on for a girl. Pocahontas Sacajawea, and for the boy  CrazyHorse SittingBull.   Not much older than that.   Two grandsons start the high school football journey this week, well one will, the other has to set for 4 weeks because he has a commitment to his 4H project that his mother will not let him out of.   I agree with the mother, my problem is with the coach, to set him one week, okay, but half the season for being obedient to a parent.  That is a little extreme.  I need to check this out before I go off the deep end, but it sounds like a bunch of adults suppose to Be's are acting very child like.  I think the schools, and the fair people need to be locked in a room, and told to solve this problem or you will die there.  I think each group is in a power struggle because what they are doing is soooo important in their eyes.   Particularly, football.  I have seen to many coaches who think they are GOD, and we all should fall down and worship the might football.  I seriously question if any coach really cares all that much with character building, and development of their students.   It is about me, my record, my goals, my my my.   Having had 6 children who played 9 different sports and all earned letters, I only came across two (2) coaches that I really think care more about the kids, than they did about how the team did or how they looked or what there record was.   I know of several that were definitely the other way.  Looking back, off all the sports they were in, two standout.  One for good ( High School Wrestling) and one that had a very negative effect (High School Football).  That doesn't even take into count the cost of one in terms of injures and the financial cost that our family had to pay because of them.

With a lot on my plate in the next few weeks, and I didn't mention an up coming missions conference that I am in no way prepared for, and my committee has not given me any feed back from earlier communications, I keep thinking that I should just take my wife and run away.  Not tell anyone, just leave and let the whole mess just collapse into a heap.  Well I am ready to start work, unfortunately, most people are not ready to start at 6:20AM.   They don't start until 9-10.  Well maybe it is not too early to call a few, after all they will be awake after the answer the phone.

Maybe time to pack it in

Have had a very frustrating couple of weeks,  had a garage and house fire that we only turned one more than half the department for.  Not sure where the rest of the people were, but we were really short handed for a while.  Than we had a couple of minor calls, again almost no one showed.  The top of the cake so to speak was an activated fire alarm on the lake shore that show only four guys answer.  I drove the tanker alone.  Got just the mini and the tanker out on the call.  Our lack of response to these a long with a four person response on a major accident on the freeway has got me thinking along several lines.  One, we may need to have mutual aid respond to all our calls until we get more available people.  This would be a major change and one I am not sure would be well received by almost no one.  My first responsibility is to the residents, and if that is the only way to insure an adequate response, then that is what we need to do, regardless of the embarrassment it causes us as a department.  I have asked repeatedly for ideas to improve this from my officers and so far have gotten the same number as I have lifetime home runs,  Zero.  At this point it is not feasible to have a paid crew on during the day because of lack of call volume and cost.  Today we had a call and I was about half way between the call and the station.  Went back to the station, and responded with a truck and two other firefighters.  If it had been last week Wednesday, 2/3 of that crew would have not be available.  If it had been ten minutes later today, I would have been first on scene, but we would have had not truck for a while.  Don't know what to do about it.  It is causing a loss of sleep, I am short tempered with people, and have to bite my lip to keep from cutting loose on a few of them.   I came home this evening after having dinner with some high school friends, and made a mental list of what I wouldn't have to do if I quit the fire department.   It would free up three nights a month, no more planning things around meetings.  No more county officer's meeting, which by in large are a waste of time, so much talk so little action.  I would have two nights a week free because I wouldn't be teaching in the academy this fall and winter.  It would give me about three hours on Saturday and a couple of Sunday afternoon to do other things rather than sit and fill out grant applications, insurance review papers, budget planning and where to move money to funds that are over budget, and all sorts of other things that no one ever told me about.   I have reached the point that some of these things are just going to no get done, or on second thought I will hand them to my deputy chief and let him do them, than again if he handles them like he has handled the SOP for vehicle extraction and the station cleaning  assignment, they will never get done.   Right now, I think I should go to bed as my level of burn is slowly raising   Night all.

Can't turn off my mind.

It is 5:30 in the morning, and I am in Marquette, on my way to Houghton County today. My bride is trying to sleep, and I woke up at 4:30AM from a sound sleep with the realization that I have effectively planned 3 things to do, all on the same day next month, three things that cannot be done together.  So, I have spent the last hour lying in bed trying to think of a way to still do all three, and not make major changes to other people's schedules.  Oh well, such is life.   We had training this week, and, would score it as about average.  I have a sense that the equipment checks are becoming, while profitable, also some what shallow.  According to everyone I asked, all equipment was started, and the missing items were noted.  I that area, I think next time, I think we will be missing something of importance, just to see if they catch it.  I do know that a certain few firefighters are putting the effort forth, as one came to me with a list of missing stuff and also a couple items that were not on the sheet, that were on the truck.  We have 8 gas saw, 5 generators, 2 fans, 2 pumps, and a power unit that are to be started and checked each month.  You would think that with that many motors to start the station would be blue with exhaust haze,  well other than the stuff my group started, I only can say for certain that two other items were started.  I sure didn't hear that many motors running.  Yet everyone said they started their equipment.  Also, each group has 6 firefighters in it, well this month my group had 2, for both meetings.  We had 2 show up late for one and not do anything, and 1 show up late for the other and help a little.  Kind of hard, to lay 200' of 3" hose, and operate a hand line by yourself, while the other person makes all the hydrant hook-ups.  But we got it done.  Speaking of training,  this has always been a sore spot with me, as I think we do not train hard enough or long enough.  Have tried various way to change that and have met apathy, quiet resistance, vocal resistance, and in a few cases, open rebellion almost.  Have come to the conclusion, thanks to a fellow EMS director of all people, that this is their (the firefighters problem) not mine.  We have documented evidence that they were all trained to FF2 level, with a couple of exceptions, and those are to FF1 level.  The main reason we have monthly training is to help them maintain their skill levels at an acceptable level, and to pass on new information now available that was not available at the time they tested and passed.  It is also to keep them current on our particular way of doing things.  To help them learn our SOP's and equipment.  It is not to train them in the basic firefighting procedures.  My EMS friend, told me that for his people to keep their job, they need to keep their license.  To do that they need so many CEU's in a given period of time, and in a particular number of fields.  His department offers the needed training to accomplish this, but if they choose to not attend, that's fine, just keep your certifications or goodbye.  I have not just exactly figured out how I will get this point across to the firefighters, but my training office and I are pretty much on the same page.  Our thought is to establish a set of standard benchmarks, and say here they are, you keep your training up to these levels or goodbye.  We as a department will provide training to help you meet these, but if you don't it is your fault not ours.  I think this puts the burden on them to maintain their skill level, not on me.  I think I have for too long felt their failure to preform as expected was my fault, not theirs.  No more.  I can in good conscience say we have provided the training, if you fail, it is your fault.  And if you continue to fail, you will no longer be with us.  Now to figure out a nice way to transfer this to them.  

It has been very hot this week, I think everyone at training wanted to have a water fight, but they got their chance last month.  Judging by the performances on Monday night with ladder for rescue placement training, most have lost more than a step on the their skill level.  The old man and a 3 year firefighter placed an extension ladder and packed up one firefighter and got that firefighter to the top of the ladder before most had gotten their ladder off the rig.   I know it was hot and humid, but we still have fires in that kind of weather.  We have the training trailer coming next month, and I'm working on ways to use it and improve there skill level, but also know that the few faithful will show, some will come once, and most likely some will not come at all.  Did have a interesting thing happen at the Monday drill.  We informed them that they needed to plan on coming in for drivers training competency course for one hour the last weekend of August.  They will be paid for it, but it is required.  Had one firefighter complain loudly in public that this was a bunch of crap and didn't see why they needed to do it.  They took their pager off and slide it across the counter we were sitting at towards me.  I grabbed it and put it on my belt.  They made some comment that they were resigning, and I asked for it in writing and to put it in my mailbox at the station.    About 20 minutes later, as we were about to leave,  this person asked if I was going to give them back their pager,  I said " you want it back?"  I took it off my belt, and held it in my hand,  looked at them and waited for them to respond.  They looked around,  than walked over to me and took it back.  They then left without saying another word.  I just got to love people.

Leadership

The past few days or maybe the last couple of weeks have found me doing some stuff that leaders supposedly don't do.  Yet I find that the really good leaders both in the fire service and outside it are in fact the ones who do these things.  I just go back from the funeral home for a visitation for the mother of one of our firefighters.  Her daughter has been a member of our department for almost three years, and if I do say so myself, our hiring her was won of the smarter things we have done.  Anyway, I would not have know her if she had not joined our department, but because I do now know her, and since I represent the department in so many ways, I felt that both as a friend and also as the chief I needed to take the time and go. Know that at least two other members of the department will stop by, but no sure of the rest.  I think that this is a part of leadership that isn't seen by most people when they think of leaders.  This morning in church, the pastor talked about leadership, in regards to the church.  I looked over his outline last night and we had talked in board meeting about it in regards to a direction that some of us feel the church should talk. So it did not come as any sort of a surprise to me.  But he shared that leaders have a responsibility to do what is best for those who follow.  In the fire service so often I have seen people who strive for leadership, with the sole intent to do things the way THEY want, and not necessarily what is best for the department as a whole.  I had this discussion some time back with a couple of my officers in regard to radio talk groups.  While they wanted one thing, and what they wanted was a good thing, I know that for the most part, it would be beyond the grasp of the many body of firefighters.  I would have  loved to do what they wanted, but reason told me to do what was best for the department as a whole, not what I would have like to see.  Leadership is also I think a position of servant hood.  For some time now, our station has needed a good cleaning.  I have asked my deputy to come up with some kind of a cleaning schedule that involves everyone.  I think I asked him about 18 months ago, and still nothing.  I just let it go, figuring he would get it done, but this weekend finally realized that to him it wasn't a problem.  He had no plans to take care of it, and I think he was hoping, in fact he almost said as much that we needed a fire call, so that Carol, one of our more faithful, caring, and not one to have idol hands, got to the station, and went on standby, so that she would clean the place.  Anyway that hasn't happened, so this weekend, I hired out of my own money, and for other reasons as well, a young lady from our church, who needed the money, and also needed someone to show they cared to clean the station.  She worked two hours on Saturday, never took a break, and got done what I thought would take three hours in two. Already had a couple comments later that day that the station looked a lot better and cleaner.  It was worth the money, in more ways than one.  But still need to remind the deputy that a schedule is needed.  Though I have thought of hiring her for a once a month visit to keep the place looking good.  I think too often some chiefs think it is all about them, when I really should be all about everyone else but you.  I think part of this stems from the fact that we as leaders need to see the biggest possible picture and to see how all of the parts come together.  In the department, and to some degree at church I see that and have that responsibility, in my everyday job, no so much.  But that said, I do try and follow and trust the leadership that is over me.  To me, the key word is trust.   Later this week I have a fire district board meeting and will have the hearing for our suspended firefighter.  Not sure how that will go, but need to get the packets of information to the board members tomorrow so they will have it to look over.  Not looking forward to that at all.  Think I will take my wife out for a flurry tonight.  Besides, I feel the need of a chocolate malt.